9.2.10

With beginnings and endings to almost everything I've ever dreamed. What do little girls dream of? To be a teacher, nurse, ballerina... princess. What did I want to be? What I wanted more than anything else in the world was to be a power ranger. Why, you ask? The gadgets and gizmos. A life of adventure, danger, mystery. To save the day. To lead a dual persona. To be apart of something greater than myself. For all these reasons and so much more; I would play, pretend and expand my imagination. Well, until one day I was told: A.) I was a girl, and girls don't like power rangers. And B.) Super Heros weren't real. And so I moved on. Kept my dreams locked up. But how long can you hold onto a dream?

See, you don't hold onto them. They become a part of you. Growing deep down inside, dreams fuel your heart. They allow you to push yourself when times get tough, they give you strength you never knew you had. They let you BE anything you wish.

There are so many fantastic things that I have had the honor of saying I've done, not only here at WDW but in my life time. I know, not that I'm very old at all. But that's that amazing part. So much in such a short time. Anywho, this is where it all begins. In place where dreams become realities. For kids who've never fit in with the neighborhood kids and become best friends with an odd yet beautiful girl in Epcot's France who once had the same problem... For parents who save for 6 years to take their family on one amazing vacation together. For a little girl who was told her dream was a waste...


Well, I have a few choice words for everyone who didn't believe me when I was 7 and said; "One day, I'm going to have a morpher and save the world." Yes, and those words are!
ONCE A RANGER, ALWAYS A RANGER!
7.14.10 This night after a long day at the Studios was our Encore performance. Luckily I wasn't the only one to run from Studios to Epcot and defiantly not the only one feeling down about it. Of coarse I couldn't help but crying during Remember When. One last embrace. One last chance to see the few that still believed. Goodbye signs, cards, flowers... a cake. All gifts from dedicated little fans. For them to finally see us. Once brief moment of thanks, a moment to say good bye, that half a breath a connection in a tight knit group hug. And as the Power Rangers reported back to the Ranger Academy one last time to hear Andrew's mom say, "they have to go save the world now... tell them good bye." It was done. Off they went. Thank you Rangers; Time Force, Lunar Wolf, Dino Thunder, SPD, Operation Overdrive, Jungle Fury, RPM, and of coarse Mystic Force. You've made my dreams come true. It's finally time to say it.
Rangers, power down.

10.3.10

I have to talk about this years show before I burst. Holding in emotions can run so deep- to where they drain you, physically as well as emotionally. Encore! Disney's Cast Choir and Orchestra is a place where cast members, friends and family can get together not only to put on a great show but to give back to the community. This year we were honored to support the Make-A-Wish Foundation of Northern and Central Florida. Personally, it couldn't have been more perfect. To do something for the children that fuel our hearts and give us new strength when you can feel that our work is never ending.

This year, Encore has been a journey for me.

I've been keeping my self so busy lately trying not to think about much of life... Because I found that is how I deal with life. Just keeping me to my busy work but Encore is much more than endless hours of rehearsals, stiztsprobs, shows, and strikes. Its not about simply making friends, but discovering yourself and finding your family. Your "Pride".

Such an interesting feeling. I know what you all are thinking, shes the girl who sits in the back and keeps to herself. True statement. But in all honesty, I like the back row. You have the best view. And not just to laugh and make witty comments. Does no one ever notice when we start to sing that at one point or another almost every one in the room has taken a half breath to close their eyes. No one ever notices, but that's your brain allowing your body to feel the music rather than processing it. Powerful. Oh! how about the fact that certain people are always moving... Certain people have so much energy they can't sit still. Even better, when Clay gets to that point where he's heard something hes never heard before, every time we grow as a collective. After the song he wipes his glasses then puts his left hand behind his head and flips through his music with his right. Does it a few times a night. I know this is silly. But I would hate to miss a second of it. All this is part of it. The big picture that I feel like I've missed in my life up until not so long ago. Shadowland tells of a journey. How she leaves all that she knows in search for that one piece of hope. Not knowing where to look or how she might reach her goal. This song has so much meaning behind it. And I know I'm a sap, but yes, I cried during this song on all three nights. There is that driving force behind her. Knowing that her sacrifice will save her people. "Where the journey may take you, let this prayer be your guide. Though it may take you so far away, always remember your pride." Here, they are telling her, go but remember us and we believe in you. To know that someone believed her in her mission. To have someone finally believe in you. A small novelty that usually comes from family. But I've found finally found it. Fa she le su. My Pride. Thank you Encore for relighting my heart, and reminding me how to believe.

7.4.10

Once apon a time...
there was a kingdom. A kingdom vaguely remembered by the wandering warrior who left so many years ago. But the wind carried something of old. As if its memory lay in its scent. The first night in many where the night air lacked the taste of salt. Something fresh, youthful about this land. Yet, the night wind carried sadness on its wing. The sun set on the cantref as it always has done. But tonight the people gathered. And the kingdom await in silence.
5 thrones,
4 princesses
and a pyre...
This land of two tongues stood united since the crossing of the seas. But now it lay in ruin. Not ax nor sword, no plague or famine could destroy what was built, for the foundations of this beautiful Kingdom was strong. How could words on paper kindle the flames of destruction and devastation. Civil war took to the land. "Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean." -Shakespeare. But all is not lost. This kingdom may be broken. But there is still an emerald flame that burns bright. Hope. Far in the distance our young warrior stands tall. She carried this hope on her shoulders to a new land. Here there lives the memory of a great banfaith. The eldest. The bravest. 그리고 지금 가장 싶었어요. 전 단지 힘을으로 용감 찾을 수있는 경우였다 는걸 잊었나.
Now it is my duty to protect all of those in the the realm.
Now is the time to live.

10.2.10

2010. a year full of beginnings a year full of endings.

Yes, that is Ashley Eckstien, the voice of Ashoka Tano on Star Wars: the clone wars. Two proud female geeks sporting our Vader gear. If you are a proud female geek like us, I suggest checking out heruniverse.com

3.22.10

Camping Trip 2010!
Wakiva River

So we got up nice and early Saturday morning and loaded up the cars. It was interesting because it seemed like we had more stuff than we could carry. Limits were made, but it would surprise you how much you would need on an all out camping excursion. After stopping for lunch, we hit the river...

Have you ever kayaked for over 2 hours? Let me tell you, your arms don't like that much... unless you're professional. Let me remind you, I am not. This was the usual rowing order. Of coarse they stick the 2 people who have never been in a kayak other than the bo-jank ones we have at fantasmic together. Yes, what a "learning" experience. If you can learning, crashing and thrashing in the water learning, then yes. Well done! I can't say that the ride out there wasn't all that bad. I mean, the alligator we saw seemed pretty friendly - In a "I want to eat you kind of way". We couldn't pass Wakiva Island with out stopping for a little fun...

It was beautiful. Lots of families and live music. Oh, and this little girl right here was the life of the party. Doesn't she look so cute and innocent filling that Bud Lite Lime can with rocks then tossing them in the water. All kinds of classy. But was had a nice time there; watching the rowers go by, talking and sun bathing. Oh what a glorious morning...
We headed another hour down the river when we finally reached our camp site. And guess who came to welcome us?! Oh, just a baby gator. I just hoped momma gator was no where to be found. It was really pretty. There was an old rustic tram in the swamp to our right and a hiking trail behind us. We went of a good hour long hike to find: Well, more swamp. But it was beautiful and relaxing none the less...
No phone, no facebook, no work. Just relaxing and enjoying time with those around you with a campfire, Hot dogs and s'mores! Here is dear Anna. She brought the wood and I built us a fire to last the night, great team work! Except when it didn't want to go out and spooked us in the middle of the night. "Who started the fire again?" "Someones out there" "Rake Man!" "Neil, go check it out!"
Just making sticks so we could cook our dinner and roast marsh mellows. Yummm! We should have kept some by our tent for when the raccoons came in the middle of the night! come midnight of so, there is the sound from outside. *for some reason we have bear mase* That didn't make me feel any better, because now all I can think is, "Lions and gators and bears, oh my".
Of coarse my comrades are a bright lot and put all our food and such under the kayak and flipped it over so they could not get our doughnuts for tomorrow morning. The plan worked! Unfortunately they got a hold of our garbage bag and decided to have a disco. It was not fun to pick that up the next morning. We took one final picture in front of the tent before packing up and began our super fun kayak ride (upstream) back to reality. Of coarse it decides to sprinkle for a good hour of our way back. But we just toughed out the rain. It was actually really nice because it kept everything cool and comfortable for us. Camping Trip 2010 was a success in my book. See you on next year's!

3.21.10

Talk about super heros! Last weekend was the Orlando Comic Book Convention. Now if you didn't know, I'm pretty geeky. I love to read and comics are a weakness of mine. who doesn't like it when the hero saves the day? Or when a girl is her own hero?! I know this is silly. But had to get a book shelf just for my comics. Well, I needed one in general and this seemed perfect. Instead of running to Ikea and picking up the first lame book shelf I could find I sat down with a note pad and pencil, ran to home depot then went to town with my hammer. Not too long after than I had my self a 3 tier book shelf but something just wasn't right a few hours later and one paint filled t shirt it was perfect! There are now 12 different sections representing the 12 major Greek God's and Goddesses. Not to say the Percy Jackson series was an influence but yes, yes it was. Amazing Book(s)... good movie. But too altered, no way to continue the story with a second movie and that is disappointing. I would have liked to seen it as the next Harry Potter.

This week was also the 5th anniversary of Disney putting out the Ultimate Force Power Rangers out in the parks. The our motto: Once a ranger, always a ranger" we came together for one night full of fun, food and laughs. What a good looking bunch of people! People came and went through out the night. Of coarse many fun stories of things that have happened on set, during DSMC, or just really baaaaad morphs. One big ranger family. And I'm so proud to be apart of it.
"take it!" <-Insert head nod here

1.16.10

2010 is not my year.
Update since last post. Christmas Eve was nice. I made dinner and had a few friends over to watch some non-traditional Christmas movies. eg. MST3000 Christmas edition: Santa Defeats the Martians. The holiday it self was not as bad as it has been in years past. A little lonely. But getting by. Mostly working to help the season pass. New Years was quiet. Not shortly after midnight my roommate and I were sound asleep.

The new year started off by me deciding to do something nice for myself and take a mini vacation to Macon, GA to see my 7yr old little friend Wesley and his parents. Needless to say the day after my arrival both Wesley and I came down with something. Oh yes. It was salmonella poisoning. I made the (near 6 hour drive there) home in just under 5... saying under the weather is not justice for the terribleness that was those few days. Then, I make it back on track. Work work work. and of coarse the morning of the marathon it is 6am, 28 degrees - and I'm in pink spandex. Not much to keep a gal warm. Except for the little fire of anger still left from being stuck working with your EX, and JUST your ex for 7 hours in the cold. From there it started. The head aches, the stuffiness, and of coarse the sore throat. From there the voice slowly gave, as it does every year. And I thought Ariel had it bad losing her voice to an evil sea witch. I lost mine to mother nature. I was out for the count. What the doctors thought was pneumonia turned out to be a fairly bad infection. On top of the lack of communication, I was heavily medicated for both my infection that I caught and laryngitis I was unable to do mostly anything including sitting up. It was sleep it off or feel like I got hit by a train.

I thought I had it bad...

The past few years my aunt has been battling cancer. Lung cancer as it started out, but the unstoppable enemy within has taken its toll. She is a strong woman. Lived by herself and has been doing very well up until last week, just taking on everything this beast can dish out. Last week she was admitted into the hospital. And yesterday she was released... released into our care. She is spending the last precious weeks in the living room of my parents home up in Chicago. It reminds me so much of how my grandmother was... and I try not to make the connection. I try not to think what is going to happen as I leave. We have 24 hours care. Nurses in and out of the house. No matter what I do, what I say I can not make this any easier for Aunt - my parents - my Emos - my nephews. I have to be emotionally detached so I can sit and listen to the doctors explain the happenings. What she has to take, and why so that when my mother regains her composure everything that was said was not lost with all the sobbing. Once again, understanding and using medical equipment become second nature. I can not stay long. And that hurts. It hurts to not be there... it hurts to watch lives crumble before you. It makes me angry to know that nothing I can do can change a thing. I've turned lives around. I've granted wishes - miracles to families I have absolutely no connection with and there is nothing I could do for one person that I care about. In the big old universe of ours... I feel pretty small. Pretty helpless. And I have always been the one to stand and make things happen. But why not now? No matter how hard I fight, this battle is already in the history books. I guess there is nothing more to say... I will be better. I will be back. I need time. Space. "so grasp your courage and bind it to your hearts with bands of steal..."

I 'm sorry for being M.I.A. for so long. I don't know what I need right now. But I'm searching for it. Blessings, everyone.